The 100 strangers project

Getting out of my comfort zone

I saw a Facebook post about a guy who had the goal to have coffee with one hundred strangers in 2020 and I felt inspired. As an introvert, I am not feeling comfortable talking to strangers in social settings or without them having specifically invited me to take part in the conversation. It is a personal blocker that I am acutely aware of – I have never experienced someone to reject me when I wanted to engage in a conversation. And those times when I followed my curiosity and *did* talk to someone, it was always rewarding and interesting. So there really is nothing to confirm my belief that I will get rejected.  

So, for 2022 I have decided to make this my project. To talk to strangers at the café (or wherever I get the opportunity) and to invite more conversations into my life with people I do not know yet. It can also be at a meetup, not only talking to one person, but to five.   

But why challenge this? Is it not okay to be an introvert? Obviously, it is.  

But I am feeling limited by my own behaviour, and I feel that I am missing out on connecting with new people, which is something I do enjoy whenever it is happing. And when I feel limited by my own behaviour, it is important for me to look at it. Me feeling limited already tells me, that there is a wish to make a change.  And sometimes the easiest way to remove a personal blocker is to do exactly what you feel uncomfortable about. Just to show your brain, that it is not as uncomfortable as you are telling yourself.  

Fun fact I: If I am meeting people in a setup where I feel as the expert, I have no problem talking to strangers at all. Or, if the setting of a meeting is inviting meaningful conversation e.g., the Deep Talks Community where the conversation’s subject is already set, I am looking forward to every meeting, even though I will not know who is coming. So having confidence removes my personal blocker about talking with strangers. Confidence either from knowing what I am talking about, or from knowing how we are going to be talking. 

Fun fact II: I did have this as a goal already in 2021… and did not succeed at all. But during my coaching training, where we also looked at different ways of breaking limiting beliefs and personal blockers, I found the courage and the will to investigate this again. I do not fully understand yet why I am feeling blocked talking to strangers in social settings, but sometimes you do not need to understand the why in order to start challenging something.  

So: All you readers out there, please root for me as I am getting out of my comfort zone.